How Camping is like having a baby

1.                  There’s poop. A lot of it. It smells. You have to dispose of it.

2.                You carry around a lot of stuff, often unnecessary. Remember how, the first time you packed a diaper bag, it took an hour to pack everything? You had to have the diapers, the wipes, the creams, the plastic bags, the 5 changes of clothes, the booger sucker, the 7 spare pacis, the bibs, the bottles, the nail trimmers, the anti-scratch mittens, the spare booties, the infants’ Tylenol, the Mylicon, the list of 37 emergency numbers, the changing pad, and a dozen burp cloths just to step across the street to the neighbors’. While camping, we must have the chocks, the 3 water hoses, the 2 spare sewer hose covers, the Easy-Ups, the 8 chairs (for 4 people), the lights, the gas tanks, the grills, the charcoal starter, the fans, the extension cords, the wind chimes, the spinners, the collapsible trash can, the leveling boards, the 3 carpets, the stepstool, the bocceball and badminton sets, the floats, the noodles, the snorkel sets, the fishing poles, the extra refrigerator… PLUS everything in the camper.

3.                There’s no privacy. I think the lack of privacy in having a baby is, well, self-explanatory. In an RV, if you want to change clothes, you have to either stand ON the bed or go into the kitchen/dining room/living room and hope it’s empty. If you’re in the bathroom, everyone in the camper can hear you. And let’s not even talk about a rockin’ camper…

4.                You get woken up a lot. (If you’re a light sleeper, that is.) Anytime someone gets up in the middle of the night, rolls over, or scratches their nose, it shakes the whole camper.

5.                 They make a lot of really cool products for either, um “hobby”. They even have shows and expos and stores devoted to each one. Camping World or Bass Pro Shops is the new Babies R Us. Depending on your hobby, you can buy a swing that bounces, vibrates, sings, and collapses for travel…or you can buy a hammock…

6.                It’s a lot of work. Changing diapers, sucking snot, burping babies… leveling a camper, dumping wastewater tanks, hammering tent stakes…

7.                 It’s wordlessly rewarding. Even after your most frustrating moments, you’d do it all again in a heartbeat.